


Spock On Birthdays

by Pandora_sama



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Comedy, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-17
Updated: 2013-03-17
Packaged: 2017-12-05 16:02:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/725164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pandora_sama/pseuds/Pandora_sama
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Birthday Greeting from Spock for you to share with family & friends who love Star Trek TOS. Naturally, Dr. Leonard McCoy interrupts Spock in his attempts to convey said Birthday Greeting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Spock On Birthdays

**Author's Note:**

> I originally wrote this for my youngest brother, Darcy, because we shared a love of Star Trek TOS. Darcy died of esophageal cancer at the age of 47 on September 23, 2010. So this Birthday Greeting is lovingly dedicated to the memory of my brother, Darcy Albert MacMillan. R.I.P., Darcy. Dec.25, 1962 - Sept. 23, 2010.

SPOCK ON BIRTHDAYS

I have been asked to comment on the concept of the celebration ritual practised by the  
human species, calculated from the nanosecond of emergence of the infant from the  
adult female progenitor to the next identical point of the solar revolution of the planet  
Earth.

Which leaves me with a question I have yet to have successfully answered by my  
human acquaintances (including Captain Kirk). For those humans who are now not born  
on the planet Earth, but elsewhere in the Universe, where solar revolutions are unlikely  
to equal 365 1/4 days, how is the next identical time point for celebration calculated?  
However, you did not ask me for my comments on this situation.

My mother informs me it is customary at this time to commemorate the continuation of  
the group cellular structure which comprises the human corpus. She also tells me it is  
usual to remind the honoree at this time of the more obvious signs of cellular  
deterioration, which are inevitable with the progression of the life cycle, among them  
wrinkles, the greying or loss of hair follicles, and so on.

Although humans are at great pains to disguise these signs of cellular deterioration, my  
mother assures me it is considered "humorous" to remind the honoree of these signs'  
effect on himself.

FASCINATING ! ... but ILLOGICAL!

Accordingly, I observe you look older. HA ... HA.

I also extend to you the customary greeting, "Happy birth day."

(McCoy interrupts at this point):

Spock! You've done it again! Messed up a simple, normal, sentimental human custom.  
Is that green blood of yours so cold you don't give a DAMN about anyone's feelings?  
Lighten up, man! Can't you at least do that stupid thing you do with the FORKED  
FINGERS?

(Spock grimaces in distaste and shrugs, then raises his right hand in the Vulcan salute):

As usual, the Doctor has demonstrated his sublime talent for pointing out the obvious. I  
should have realized this occasion called for a personal contribution from Vulcan culture.

AHEM! LIVE LONG AND PROSPER!

Spock Out.


End file.
